


two useless gays having a platonic dialogue.

by arachonteur



Series: Burning Down the House Excerpts [4]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Barely Keeping Their Grubby Little Hands Off The Fourth Wall, F/F, Identity Discussion, Postmodernism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:28:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26728927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arachonteur/pseuds/arachonteur
Summary: rose is asking dirk about marrying kanaya. he's about as helpful as you'd expect.(excerpt: pages 293-299 of burning down the house.)
Relationships: Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam
Series: Burning Down the House Excerpts [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1500005
Comments: 3
Kudos: 39





	two useless gays having a platonic dialogue.

ROSE: So tell me your feelings about it.  
DIRK: You know damn well I can't just do that.   
ROSE: Try, then.   
DIRK: .  
ROSE: How hard could it possibly be?   
DIRK: ...  
DIRK: I can't say I've ever considered it.  


DIRK: Imagine it, being bound to me for the rest of your life.   
ROSE: I can't, and won't, for many reasons.   
DIRK: You asked for my feelings on the matter and I gave them to you.   
ROSE: I know.   
DIRK: It's... the same vibe as not really liking being called "gay".  
DIRK: Like...   
DIRK: "I'm married."  
DIRK: "What's a marriage?"   
DIRK: You get what I mean, yeah?   
DIRK: It's the signifier equivalent of load-bearing drywall.   
DIRK: Shit is built on top of this idea that maybe was always fake to begin with.   
ROSE: Drywall is one of the more real things we've discussed, to be fair.   
ROSE: I can go and make some drywall right now, if I wanted to.  
DIRK: Do it.  
ROSE: I'm not hungry.   
DIRK: Your loss.   
DIRK: But that's not my point.   


DIRK: My point is it's fragile and not meant to be load-bearing.  
DIRK: You try and build a dynamic society on top of marriages, who fucking knows how well that'll stay up.   
DIRK: Like, what even is a marriage?  
ROSE: It's a recognized pairing of people.   
DIRK: How's that different from a ship?  
ROSE: The people involved have consented to the relationship, that's different from a shipping pair, it's externalized.   
DIRK: How's it different from dating?   
ROSE: There's a level of permanence and commitment to it.   
DIRK: Is that a good thing?  
ROSE: It can be.   
ROSE: These are a lot of questions.  
ROSE: Do you want answers to all of them?  
DIRK: Fucking obviously.   
ROSE: If you insist then, we can follow that train of thought.  
ROSE: It's a good thing to those involved.   
DIRK: Forever?  
ROSE: Maybe, maybe not.   
ROSE: Could you always account for every change in a person, throughout their life?  
DIRK: Suppose not.   
DIRK: How would you celebrate it?   
ROSE: A nice ceremony, and a reception where we can all celebrate.  
ROSE: Dave would be the rabbi.  
DIRK: Is he ordained?  
ROSE: Does it matter?  
DIRK: Guess not.   
ROSE: I want to celebrate our victory, in both a cosmic way, and a romantic way.  
DIRK: ...   
DIRK: I'm not against that.   
DIRK: I'm still hesitant to introduce marriage to carapaces.   
DIRK: Do we want to carry through all that meaning, on top of that?   
DIRK: Again, it's like "I'm gay" like...   
DIRK: I can identify myself as fitting within the concept of gayness.   
DIRK: Like, I can say "I'm gay" and it won't conflict with the definition of the word that exists in my head.  
DIRK: I was also raised in the middle of the fucking ocean.   
DIRK: Never had a "gay community" or whatever.  
DIRK: The cultural institution of homosexuality to me is old tapings of RENT and the most miserable of fujoshi-aimed manga.  
DIRK: And I can call myself gay, that's what the concept is for, but... I don't fuckin' know about this one, dog.   
DIRK: Is it for me?   
DIRK: Like, I want it to be, but as fucked up and complex as the relationship between a signifier and its signified can be...  
DIRK: A signifier without a signified is pretty fuckin' worthless.  


ROSE: ...   
ROSE: Are you yearning right now?  
DIRK: I'm just saying, if I'm not out here kissing dudes, can I call myself gay?   
ROSE: I mean, obviously.   
ROSE: It sounds to me like you're yearning.   
ROSE: Are you fucking longing, perhaps forming an intricate ritual that allows you to touch the skin of other men?   
DIRK: This is exactly what the fuck I'm talking about.   
DIRK: We know about the work of Barbara Kruger, but... do our carapaces?  
DIRK: Do we *want* our carapaces to know about that?   
DIRK: And again, if I'm the signified for the signifier, what does that signifier communicate about me?   
ROSE: I don't know about this one, I think you could explain a lot of what's up with me with "I'm a lesbian."   
DIRK: That's a very tell, don't show approach to identity.  
ROSE: All conveyence is a mixture of telling and showing, it's not a catch-all.   
ROSE: This is all one hell of a tangent, I didn't come here for a dialogue on semiotics, you know.  
DIRK: Indulge this one a bit more.   
ROSE: Of course I'm going to, I'm a Light player.   
DIRK: Exactly the shit I'm saying.   
DIRK: Can you reasonably expect a person without the context necessary to understand the nuances of saying that?  
DIRK: Can I say "I'm gay" and reasonably expect someone to get every angle of that?   
DIRK: Or can I just smash my lips up against another, willing dude's and have them get it?   
DIRK: Does it matter if I say whether I'm gay or not, if I can just show it?   
DIRK: Does my admiration for Rainbow Dash have anything to do with it?   
DIRK: Could someone understand I'm gay based on my favorite pony?   
DIRK: ...  
DIRK: Would a citizen of Earth-C have the cultural context for Rainbow Dash?   
ROSE: I hope so.   
ROSE: I hope Rainbow Dash outlives all of us.   


ROSE: Like the statues of a fallen civilization, we struggle to piece together what their lives may have been.   
ROSE: This one, this one was really full of weirdo gay people.   
ROSE: Their classical object of worship was a dyke horse.   
DIRK: Sounds like a kick-ass society to me.  
DIRK: You know what I mean, though.   
DIRK: Does it only matter if I say outright, "I am a homosexual."?   
ROSE: I don't think so.  
ROSE: You know how readers feel about gay subtext.   
ROSE: They adore that shit.   
ROSE: I can count on one hand the number of things a nice, hearty gay subtext didn't improve.   
DIRK: Also, it's not even subtext, then.   
DIRK: It's not a dream sequence, filled with loaded, though oblique imagery.   
DIRK: It's not a web of symbols and meaning so fuckin' intricately woven that no literal read of an event could possibly be satisfying.   
DIRK: It's not a goddamn spider's web of narrative.   
DIRK: I'm just kissing a dude.  
DIRK: It's text.   
ROSE: Maybe that wouldn't be enough to have someone understand you're gay.  
ROSE: Identifying with lesbianism as a concept does come easier to me than an applicable label, whatever that may be, does to you, though maybe that's a weird confluence of familial impressions.   
ROSE: After all, there's no shortage of pride merch lining Roxy's iteration of our shared domicile.   
ROSE: Not to spend time dwelling on the minutia of identity, I'd like to get back to the topic at hand...   


ROSE: I'm sure you've gathered my reason for asking.   
DIRK: More or less.   
DIRK: Why come to me about it, then?   
ROSE: It's a wedding.   
ROSE: If there's any time to dig up a tradition, it's now, I suppose.   
ROSE: And as mangled and unrecognizeable as it may be, canonically speaking, you are my father.   
DIRK: ...   
ROSE: It's just as weird to say as it is for you to hear.   
DIRK: If that's the way you want to spin it...   
DIRK: Is she going to ask for my blessing, too?   
DIRK: As mangled and unrecognizeable as it may be, canonically speaking, you are my daughter.  
ROSE: ...   
ROSE: Oh dear.   
DIRK: I'll keep that one on the back pocket.   
DIRK: Do you have a plan?   
ROSE: You should know by now that I don't.   
ROSE: I'm looking for the right moment.   
ROSE: I've flown by the hem of my skirts before, I'm certain that planning too much would be some sort of critical failure on my end.   
ROSE: Even as we become the gods ourselves, "make a plan and God laughs" holds true.   
DIRK: Okay, what do you think the right moment would be?   
ROSE: ...   
ROSE: I'll know it when I see it.   
ROSE: When things settle down, of course.   
ROSE: It'll be nice and... comparatively peaceful.   
DIRK: What do you think you'll see?   
ROSE: I'm not sure...   
DIRK: Maybe things won't be as peaceful as you'd expect.   
ROSE: That's quite an ominous statement, would you like to clarify that one for me?   
DIRK: ...   
DIRK: I don't have more to say than just that... there are things left undone.   
ROSE: Surely you aren't torn up about Vriska's assumed death too.   
DIRK: Hardly. I didn't know her for shit.   
DIRK: As far as I'm concerned, she's a casualty at best.   
DIRK: Sad for Terezi, but in an abstract way.   
DIRK: It'd be sad if I cared about someone in that way, and he died.   
DIRK: But it's not like I knew her.   
ROSE: An understandable position.   
DIRK: You mentioned her. Perhaps it's weighing on you?   
ROSE: Also hardly.   
ROSE: Not that I don't care for her... it's hard not to after spending 3 years with her.   


ROSE: But it's more complex than that.   
ROSE: We'll leave it at that.   
DIRK: An understandable position.   
ROSE: We keep digressing.   
ROSE: What did you mean by "things left undone"?   
DIRK: I'm going to keep it real.   
DIRK: So real, it's a little bit uncomfortable.   
DIRK: Hyperreal.  
DIRK:   
DIRK: ...   
DIRK: It's just a feeling.   
DIRK: I'm pulling on the threads, and coming to no concrete conclusions other than a vague sense of anxiety and a non-committal hand wave.   
ROSE: Helpful.   
ROSE: Is it homophobia?   
DIRK: What.   
ROSE: Are you afraid of lesbians being in love?   
DIRK: No I don't-   
ROSE: Why are you so afraid of women loving women, Dirk?   
DIRK: ...   
ROSE: Yes, I'm fucking with you.   
DIRK: Okay, thank fuck.   
ROSE: Did you really think I would accuse you of that?   
DIRK: ... No.   
ROSE: Ehehe.   
ROSE: I'd like to have a ring made, also...   
DIRK: Why not alchemize one?   
ROSE: It's... different.   
DIRK: How so?  
ROSE: It's... different, knowing something came from a real person.   
ROSE: I suppose most things came from people, but I don't think about such things often... or at least I try not to.   
ROSE: It's a rabbit hole that's truly inescapable.   
ROSE: You understand my sentiment, yes?   
DIRK: I get you well enough, yeah.   
ROSE: I expected as much.  
DIRK: Send me your schematics, I'll get some rough ones made if you want.   
ROSE: Thank you.  
ROSE: I'll be seeing you, then.   
DIRK: Peace.  



End file.
